and within my over flowing mind
where dogs chase and richoche off drunken stone walls
in a heated anger,
i try to sit still and feel
within this space for who i am,
and how i am different from who i once was.
It appears that we constantly move beyond
the boundaries we set for ourselves
never content with what we possess.
We chase and name these things love, death and happiness
and we pursue them
or avoid them in each moment;in every flower we see.
Structure is craved,
in order to survive, yet structure never holds.
These names, the hands that grab it,
are no match for the avoidance of chaos.
and like a leaf on a branch
and like the wind on the sea
i have tried the best i can to find, what is free.
and like a last night left nightime fire
and like a song inspired.
I am longing to understand what is me.
So in chaos i escape
and in structure i embrace,
my own melancholy.
Because this darkness,
this loss, holds the key to joy,
and joy holds the soft fingers forever,
of a drowned sea.