Hey Hey My My

Beneath my gaze
stars of musical light drip in vibrational pleasure
beneeath the darkness of the sky
shuddering waves of careless movement
break the noses of fictional beings.
All falls into a slow solid procession of light and noise
that evaporates in the clutch of my arms
and leaves me feeling bewildered
and amazed
and staring once again hopefully at trees
and at clouds

and with my hand in your hand
and with my eyes open wide
i tried to resist the temptations of escape
and with my poor mourning mind
and with my caring best of times
i started myself wide open.

and now the night appears,
in the morning
when all the tears,
have finished falling
as i sleep.

Across the river bay, i stir and look for you
on the reflection of the water,
and i now know what is true.
That when you said i was making a mistake
in taking the steps to break,
all i knew,
I was wrong in leaving you,
was I wrong in leaving you?


But now our paths are being wandered
there is no turning round
to look and to wonder
at what i left behind.
I must now strive forward,
in an acceptance of this fate
and attempt to embrace
what is new and is feared and blindingly bright.



Being comfortable in your own company;
contentness of the self,
is the first step towards the acceptance of death
something we try so hard to avoid,
yet cannot remain hidden from.

lost standing lost falling
grey skyscrapers ripple in rock pools
made of yellow string.

encircling and now whirling
the end beneath
the tears of dwelling skin.

and on a hill
stands a fat man
doing some sort of dance,
bludgering his chest with his arms

we ramble in darkness,
we ramble with the past
we ramble with all the places long left last
we wander with time softly, lit on our side
walking slowly, but thoroughly
looking at our wrists.

and when release is needed
and when the problem becomes
we realise all is,
and was illusion

lost wonder follows the flies
lost walking shirts and ties
shrieking across hallways
confused in time.

lost falling yellow worms
lost in places without turns
accessing green card
suprised by shadows.

lost in celebration of the moment
lost on a street of this moment
chasing each others arms
followed around by plastic dolls

and within my over flowing mind
where dogs chase and richoche off drunken stone walls
in a heated anger,
i try to sit still and feel
within this space for who i am,
and how i am different from who i once was.
It appears that we constantly move beyond
the boundaries we set for ourselves
never content with what we possess.
We chase and name these things love, death and happiness
and we pursue them
or avoid them in each moment;in every flower we see.
Structure is craved,
in order to survive, yet structure never holds.
These names, the hands that grab it,
are no match for the avoidance of chaos.

and like a leaf on a branch
and like the wind on the sea
i have tried the best i can to find, what is free.
and like a last night left nightime fire
and like a song inspired.
I am longing to understand what is me.
So in chaos i escape
and in structure i embrace,
my own melancholy.
Because this darkness,
this loss, holds the key to joy,
and joy holds the soft fingers forever,
of a drowned sea.

embracing chaos whilst holding hands
embracing neptunes with my open palms
embracing circus tricks whilst lost in suprise
embracing tired falling blue men
embracing careless lost movements
embracing my infatuation with pale skin
embracing silouettes whilst standing up trees
embracing thrashed metal worlds
embracing notes of scrawled paper
embracing pirate angles and smiles
embracing badgers
embracing fingers and waterfalls
embracing tissue rolls and grass light
embracing strange beeps that irriate yet amuse
embracing soldiers carved from gold oak
embracing nose driven nose diving folds of glass
embracing crashes of violent drilling
embracing the crackling of tin cans upon an amber fire
embracing the carving of carrots.